i recently finished reading the namesake by jhumpa lahiri, a book in which lahiri, among other things, grapples with the challenges of being bi-cultural. lahiri writes beautifully and with accurate reflection about living in a land that isn't quite your own:
for being a foreigner, ashima is beginning to realize, is a sort of lifelong pregnancy--a perpetual wait, a constant burden, a continuous feeling out of sorts. it is an ongoing responsibility, a parenthesis in what had been ordinary life, only to discover that previous life had vanished, replaced by something more complicated and demanding.
living abroad is something i have always enjoyed because of, in part, its inherent demands. even mundane tasks have an extra element of challenge, because of language and cultural difference. i take my american recipes to the supermarket (not grocery store) and look for english equivalents for the monterey jack cheese, the canned pumpkin and the chicken broth. i convert pounds to kilograms on the fly, i can accurately guess the size of a stick of butter, although this becomes more and more fuzzy as the months pass. i drive home on the left side of the road, the side that is starting to feel more normal than wrong.
but sometimes the differences are tiring, not fun. i talk too loud. i ask too many questions at the doctor's office. i want to complain about bad service but hold my tongue, reluctant to do anything that will reinforce the stereotype of rude americans. i go back "home" to seattle to visit people i still consider to be my closest friends. but they have moved on, formed new friendships and continued their lives. and it is in these moments that i can relate to lahiri's character ashima ganguli, and i realize that as a foreigner, my life is somehow on pause.
As an American living and working in Finland I can relate. Except here, there is the added dimension of a learning to speak the second hardest language in the world, the Finnish slow pace and the attitude of "its the way we've always done it!" Going back to the States makes me feel like I'm returning to the Twilight Zone!
Posted by: Michel | January 30, 2005 at 08:36 AM
As an East Indian living in the US, I can completely relate and so far I have been afraid to say it publicly. I have always felt grateful to the US for having let me come to the country and make it my second home. And, so, I have been afraid to express anything but that gratitude, lest I should be considered an ingrate. I cannot however deny that I feel desparately stuck - stuck, between two worlds. What makes it most hard is that some of the most basic values and emotions that make up, anoo, are stuck in India. I feel like I cannot express them or feel them fully while I am in the US. What has been interesting is the realization that I have felt more and more stuck as the years have gone on. Isnt it supposed to be the other way -- so you feel more and more comfortable in your new home as the years wear on?
I need to get unstuck in some way and I have come up with a plan ... the only way I can do that is if I spend some time of the year in India and some time in the US. So, thats what I am working on now and am hoping I can start with this year. When the ground freezes in Nov 2005, I am hoping to be sipping a cold pinacolada on the beach in Goa ...
More as the plans become firm ...
Posted by: Anoo | January 30, 2005 at 04:05 PM
Despite the oh-so-common assurance from my American friends that there are no differences between Canada and the US I went through a lot of culture shock when I moved down here. I think that the fact that the differences were so subtle made it even harder – I could go for days or weeks without noticing anything different and then all of a sudden be blindsided by something, well, foreign. I do much better in situations that are completely unusual – at least then I can set my brain to ‘expect to be surprised/confused’.
What differences did I run into? There were lots of little things. Not being able to buy my favourite breakfast cereal. Or beer. Or brand of jeans. Everything milk-based tastes different and less flavourful. I have an accent. It was at least a year before I could remember what the ‘mph’ speed limit was on the highway. I still don’t understand Farenhight temperatures.
On a larger scale there are a lot of social differences. Even in Seattle people seem more conservative. Social gender differences are more pronounced. My Canadian-bred tendency to apologize and thank people constantly makes me seem submissive. Canadian humour is different. My jokes often fall flat.
That being said, I’ve started feeling much more at home here over the past six months. I’ve replaced many of my old comfort foods that aren’t available here with ones that I won’t be able to get in Canada if/when I move back. I’ve started to understand the subtleties of social order – though I can’t say that I’m comfortable with them. The idea of moving back which was once ‘soon’ is now ‘someday’. I also feel much more comfortable with the idea of moving somewhere else. Maybe I’ll find myself writing about UK culture-shock next?
Posted by: Sarah | February 13, 2005 at 07:16 PM