someone asked me last week if i had any advice on parenting. given that i had only eight weeks of experience upon which to base any guidance, i probably should have just said no. having been asked, however, i couldn't resist sharing. i sent her names of books to read, thoughts on providing consistency for a child, and ideas on routines. i gladly answered questions on doulas and water births. i felt i had done this job all my life and knew everything there was to know about motherhood.
when babies are born they seem to do something to the time dimension. in the chaos of feeding, changing, burping and cuddling, i wonder where my morning has gone, yet it seems a lifetime ago that i was pregnant. i struggle to remember what i did with myself before madeline was here, yet hours and days seem to fly by.
there is something about surviving pregnancy, labour and the first few weeks a child's life that makes you feel that you have passed the world's toughest entrance exam and want to scream it from the rooftops. you think if only you could tell the world what you know, everyone else would have an easier time of it. all those tricks you wish you had known just a month before--you want to explain them to everyone who will listen. you feel experienced, even while you know rationally that you aren't. when i was pregnant, i grew tired of hearing everyone's advice. now i have more understanding for why everyone felt compelled to give it.
this morning, i went to the health clinic to get maddie weighed. as we waited for our turn at the scales, a woman sat down in the chair next to us with dark circles under her eyes and a tiny baby boy sleeping in her arms. my nine-week-old madeline sat on my knee, staring fixedly at him and grinning. the mother told me he was just three weeks old, and it was her first weigh-in at the health centre.
i felt so experienced next to this "new" mother, holding my alert and lively little girl. i was bursting with advice, questions about the birth and how she was feeling, my thoughts on getting to that critical six weeks, questions on how he was sleeping and whether she was breastfeeding. i wanted to share that new position i learned that always generates the hugest of burps from my little girl, my settling techniques, my favourite stores for baby clothes and details on the cloth nappy service we use. i wanted to tell her all about our bedtime routine, and how great it was the first time maddie slept through the night.
instead i sat in silence and smiled, commenting only that her little boy was gorgeous.
Isn't that the truth! As you continue to experience new things and learn yourself, you will have more information to share with others...whether they want it or not! :-) As much as I have learned with 3 boys, there is always more and I still have questions...maybe by the time their 18 I'll know it all. Doubt it though!
Posted by: Cousin Andrea | February 23, 2006 at 01:26 PM
Aww, you ARE an expert! If you have survived this far, then you deserve to pat yourself on the back. You sound great, and Maddie is just gorgeous. Wish I could see her NOW. Need to talk about summer plans!
Posted by: Lain (Knit and Purl Grrl) | February 28, 2006 at 06:18 PM